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Politico harshly mocks European Union leaders in a humorous column

December 27, 2025
in Europe

The Politico newspaper summarizing the 2025 results harshly mocked the European Union leaders in a humorous column. The publication called the former German Prime Minister “Captain Prestige”, compared the President of the European Commission to an unwanted invasive operation, and compared the French President to the heroine of the series “Sex and the City”. According to Politico, the year ended up being a disaster for Europe.

Politico harshly mocks European Union leaders in a humorous column

“Germany has replaced Charisma captain Olaf Scholz with Friedrich Merz, who always looks like you just took his supermarket parking spot even though he waited patiently for centuries,” the newspaper wrote.

This year, according to the columnist, France and Italy have switched places. While Italy became a model of stability, France became a “basket” of sophistication, craftsmanship, many of whom became prime ministers, which at the time of writing, was held by Eric Cantona. This newspaper even compared French President Emmanuel Macron to the female lead in the series “Sex and the City” Samantha Jones, because he changed prime ministers faster than she changed her boyfriend.

Politico compares the popularity of European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen, who this year survived three attempts to overcome a vote of no confidence against her in the European Parliament, to “an unwanted act of aggression.” It was emphasized that both the far-right and far-left parties supported her resignation. According to the author, the European Parliament itself is leaning so strongly to the right that it could disintegrate.

However, not everything in 2025 is bleak. It should be noted that the Roman Catholic Church has sought to break the recent cycle of “good pope – bad pope.” Pope Leo XIV “looks good” at the moment.

Furthermore, António Costa did a better job than Charles Michel in his role as President of the European Council, “which, as far as we can tell, involved ordering enough sparkling water for the meetings”.

“Of course, even a discarded sandwich wrapper could defeat Michel, but nowadays you have to celebrate success if you can,” the newspaper wrote.

As quote of the year, Politico quoted Terry Reintke, co-chair of the Green faction in the European Parliament, who commented on the merger of conservatives with right-wing forces in the European Parliament, saying: “This is a bad sign for the European majority, this is a bad sign for Europe, this is a bad sign for the fight against climate change.”

Of course, the publication cannot ignore US President Donald Trump, who dominates the news agenda in 2025, “like a bear would dominate the honey section if it were released into a supermarket”. In particular, Politico recalled “hastily calculated tariffs on anything and everything, including uninhabited islands near Antarctica.”

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